- Goal is not to eliminate conflict as this often brings much needed change but to transform it from adversarial to side by side solution solving
- Negotiations should be wise (not harm either party), efficient and not damage the relationship
- Principled negotiation is neither hard not soft and should separate the people from the problem (attack problem not them), focus on interests not positions, invent multiple options for mutual gains, and insist on using objective criteria
- Don't deduce a persons intentions based on your fears
- Don't blame other side for your problems even if justified as it is unproductive
- Look for opportunities to act in opposition to people's preconceived perceptions
- Focus on interests, not positions. There are usually several different positions to satisfy all interests
- 4 major obstacles in negotiation:
- Premature judgment
- Searching for a single answer
- Assumption of a fixed pie
- Thinking that solving your problem is solving their problem
- Separate the process of inventing options (brainstorming) and deciding on a final solution
- Never yield to pressure, only to principle
- Should always know your BATNA - best alternative to a negotiated agreement. If can't reach agreement, what are the actions you will take? The greater your BATNA, the stronger your negotiating power since you have more options in case an agreement is not reached
- 3 most common tricky tactics - deception, psychological warfare and positional pressure
- Reputation for honesty and fairness may be your most powerful negotiating weapon
What I got out of it
- You hear of this book often and for great reason. Ury and Fisher layout simple techniques and real world examples of how these techniques were used. Negotiations often turn "hard" because the focus is on the people and the problem as opposed to the principle. A must read