Emotional Equations by Chip Conley

Summary

  1. Understanding our emotions gives us a way to make sense of our lives, creating insights as we remove psychological blindfolds…Emotional fluency is the ability to sense, translate, and effectively apply the power of emotions in a healthy and productive manner and the equations found in this may help increase your fluency

Key Takeaways

  1. The emotional equations
    1. Emotions = Life
    2. Emotion = Energy + Motion
    3. Event + Reaction = Outcome
    4. Despair = Suffering – Meaning
    5. Disappointment = Expectations – Reality
    6. Regret = Disappointment + Responsibility
    7. Jealousy = Mistrust / Self-Esteem
    8. Envy = (Pride + Vanity) / Kindness
    9. Anxiety = Uncertainty x Powerlessness
    10. Suffering = Pain x Resistance
    11. Calling = Pleasure / Pain
    12. Workaholism = What are you running from? / What are you living for?
    13. Flow = Skill / Challenge
    14. Curiosity =- Wonder + Awe
    15. Authenticity = Self-Awareness x Courage
    16. Narcissism = (Self-Esteem)^2 x Entitlement
    17. Integrity = Authenticity x Invisibility x Reliability
    18. Happiness = Wanting what you have / having what you want
    19. Happiness = Practice / Pursuit
    20. Joy = Love – Fear
    21. Innovation = Creativity – Cynicism 
    22. Thriving = Frequency of Positive / Frequency of Negative
      1. Where thriving = 3.0 or more
      2. Successful marriages, according to John Gottman, seem to have a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative affects (observable expressions of emotion), where those heading for divorce have a 0.8:1 ratio
    23. Faith = Belief / Intellect
    24. Wisdom = square root of experience
  2. Other
    1. Gravity is a universal force that affects the physical world, but you may not have considered how it also affects the human condition – and not just by keeping us on Earth. Gravity shapes our physical bodies; we often get shorter and close to the ground as we age. Gravity can also shape our emotional selves. Emotional baggage, for instance, is a form of gravity; we acquire more of it as we get older, and it weighs us down. The more emotional gravity we’re fighting, the more force we require to move forward. And force moving against gravity creates a lot of friction. On the other hand, having a frictionless life is like being a rower gliding over the surface of the water – in rowing circles, this is called “swinging.” Abraham Maslow called it “self-actualization,” and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls it “flow.” It’s a way of defying gravity. 
    2. What does this all mean for you? The Latin root of the word “emotion” means “to move.” Or Emotion = Energy + Motion
    3. Dr. Rick Hanson has suggested that our brains are “Velcro for negativity and Teflon for positivity”
    4. Wisdom is, fundamentally, a subtractive virtue, not an additive one. Wise men filter insights when others get lost in piles and piles of knowledge. T.S. Eliot wrote, “Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?” He wrote that half a century before the “knowledge era” descended upon us, long before we commonly referred to ours as an age of “information overload.”

What I got out of it

  1. Quick read and Chip does a great job of giving some personal and vulnerable examples of these equations in action.