The Truth by Neil Strauss

Summary
  1. Strauss details his life and how he dealt with his desires for others while also wanting a meaningful relationship
Key Takeaways
  1. What you don’t know controls you
  2. Strauss walks us through the lessons he has learned about commitments and relationships and how to best form and cultivate them
  3. Anything emotionally traumatizing is with us forever and manifests itself in many different ways. What is hysterical is historical
  4. Children who are over controlled by their parents often compensate as adults by excessive lying
  5. The sins of the parents are the Destinys of the children unless they wake up and do something about it
  6. Aim to be an “independent spectator” of your own life to get a better perspective on the story you tell yourself about your life – gives you a clearer view of the baggage you carry around
  7. Only when your love for someone exceeds your need for them can a true relationship form
  8. Real truth is self evident. You feel it immediately resonate through your body as your heart and mind connect. All else is just information, not truth
  9. Impatience is the enemy of intimacy
  10. Where there is reactivity there is a wound
  11. You can’t commit to someone expecting them to change. You must wholeheartedly accept who they are
  12. The opposite of fear is not love but acceptance
  13. The most loving thing you can do for others is to strengthen the relationship you have with yourself. The greatest gift to others is our own best self
What I got out of it
  1. A very honest detailing of Strauss’ life and struggles with monogamy and relationships