- Our rational and emotional brain shapes our personalities and our decisions. Emotional skills are often overlooked when compared to what is typically thought of as intelligence but is every bit as important. By combining the rational and emotional, we can improve our performance in every facet of life.
- Resisting impulse is the root of all self-control. This was stressed a dozen different ways and those who have better impulse control tend to be emotionally more stable, smarter, more successful…marshmallow test
- People who are optimistic see a failure as due to something that can be changed so that they can succeed next time around, while pessimists take the blame for failure, ascribing it to some lasting characteristic they are helpless to change.
- Coordination of moods is the essence of rapport
- Those who had a dependable web of intimacy showed no relationship whatsoever between high stress levels and death rates
- Fundamentals of EI (can be summed up with competency)
- Self-awareness – know what you are feeling and why
- Self-management (ability to motivate oneself/persistence)
- Social awareness
- Ability to manage relationships
- 5 key abilities of emotional intelligence
- Knowing one’s emotions – have a better sense of how they really feel about something
- Managing emotions
- Motivating oneself – delaying gratification and pushing off impulses
- Recognizing emotions in others
- Handling relationships – often simply handling other’s emotions
- XYZ method – When you did X, it made me feel Y, and I wish you did Z instead
- Cannot decide when we have our emotional outbreaks but can decide how long they last, a sign of emotional maturity
- Key to impulse control is knowing the difference between feelings and actions
What I got out of it
- Very interesting book which highlights the importance emotion plays in our everyday lives, our personalities, our decisions and our relationships. He makes great points but I found that he reiterated them so many times that it became redundant.
Buy Emotional Intelligence